I told you, I'm not a fluff and stuff person. If you want to read about fashion and who's in, check out Perez Hilton. Things might start getting bumpy. I had to make a decision; I can write about where I'm at or take a hiatus. Here I am.
You see I have been running away from God for quite awhile. Not a great thing to admit when you're a Christian. For me, He stopped being safe when Jeff Wenzel went to heaven. I haven't verbalized this until recently and I am as transparent as they come and I am done pretending. So you might ask, "How is all that working out for you?" Not so good. Not so good.
I have been a Christian since I was six years old so I know all the "Christian" things to say. You might even be thinking some of them right now. "Oh, God isn't safe but He is good." "God knows best and Jeff is with Jesus." "God made you and knows everything about you and you can trust Him, He loves you." "God has a plan for your life." I even know the verses. Truth is, unless you have lost a spouse or child or someone this close, you really can't understand how this feels. It is indescribable.
When I look over my whole life, besides my kids, Jeff Wenzel was the best part of my life. Hands down. If you'll indulge me a minute. It's like my life really didn't start until he got there. He showed me so many things. He was infectious, life of the party, always wanted to do something crazy. I was always trying to talk him out of it. That rarely happened.
For example; I am 8 months pregnant with Olivia on a double "first" date with his cousin Jennifer and now husband Adam in downtown Wichita. I just need to use a restroom, that's it. Seems simple. It always starts off like this with Jeff. We stop in at the Broadview Hotel to use the bathroom and the next thing you know we are crashing "Mr. B.'s 40th Private Birthday Party."
Jeff gets us in. Next thing you know, he and I are on the dance floor and we are the only white people at the party (and I am hugely pregnant). But Jeff has more soul in his dancing than most there. He is jigging it up. Soon Mr. B himself comes over to greets us and invites us to eat. Jennifer and Adam are sitting down at a table not sure what to do. Ends up Jeff knows some people there. He always knows someone somewhere. This is our entire life. Never ever boring. He can't even die in a boring way. I miss everything about him. It's like the life of the party has left and I have no idea what to do now.
What is certain is that I have not been willing to admit that I might be angry at God. Christians aren't supposed to be angry at God. It's just been easier to ignore Him. But my pastor in Phoenix, John Lynch, posted a status just before Christmas that really prompted my heart to address my feelings toward God. He doesn't even realize it. This is what he posted:
To all those gamely, bravely attempting to face this season with grace and joy, but just holding on because of sadness, grief, or estrangement--He walks this day with you. His hands are in his pockets strolling next to you, every now and then commenting, "you're exactly where I want to be today, I'm not going anywhere." You're not missing out. You're His center during this season. Merry Christmas. John Lynch
I wrote " Can He be carrying me? Or giving me a piggy back ride?"
John wrote "Reneene-Yes, my friend. He can carry you. But not before you take long strolls together, bundled up, with Him, glancing over to you and smiling. Then He can carry you back home if you like."
Flood gates of tears let loose when I read this. Because I knew I hadn't even stepped in the general vicinity of Jesus let alone bundled up with Him in a blanket. No long strolls here. No gazing. I have been running as far away as possible from the creator of the universe. I was having a hard time imagining a Hallmark Heavenly moment.
What's the saying? The first step is admitting you have a problem. I guess you could say I have lost my Joy. But I am willing and wanting and ready to go seeking it out. I know the only place it can be found is in the one place I haven't wanted to go.
I am going to wrestle with God this year. Whatever it takes to live the life He intended for me. And like it or not, that life is without the coolest guy I ever knew. Please pray for me to see Jesus. It's been so long.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Character
Ah, the awkwardness of being in 5th grade and having to ballroom dance with a girl. The entire middle school years are really a drag. Anyone else agree? Sadly, I have very damaging memories from those years (late bloomer). Kids were just plain cruel. Why is this? Still true today.
Waiting for the bus with my son discussing the impending "Ballroom Dance Nightmare" for this afternoon, I am sad that things haven't changed much. He is dreading today because the girls get to choose the boys for dancing. And none of the boys want this one particular girl. And he barrels off about 10 reasons. And it makes me sad. For her. For me. Brings back memories. Makes me sad that my son is one of those boys.
We talk about character. And he says, "Mom, no kids talk about character." We just watched the movie "Flipped," (great movie, rent it) and it talks about people being more or less than the sum of their parts. I remind him of this. I ask him if he is more than the sum of his parts? How does this girl feel knowing no one wants to dance with her?
He says his good friend Braden will, he doesn't mind it. That he danced with her last time. I say, "His mother has raised him well." I am trying to get into my son's head because I want him see that God made this girl. She is a Child of God. There is nothing wrong with her.
And then he says it. He says, "Mom, I'm sorry but I just want to be cool." And don't we all? The world is telling us this everyday. We have to be cool, look good, be rich, have fast cars, know the right people, blah, blah, blah..... And it's all a lie. And our kids are believing it and so then this not-so-pretty-on-outside-girl gets shoved aside.
I tell him when we get to heaven and stand before God, He doesn't care if we were cool. He cares if we were kind. Were we kind to one another. Even to the unlovely. I am praying today if this precious little girl chooses my son to dance that he will be kind.
Cool is so changing and superficial and not lasting. The bible says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
Waiting for the bus with my son discussing the impending "Ballroom Dance Nightmare" for this afternoon, I am sad that things haven't changed much. He is dreading today because the girls get to choose the boys for dancing. And none of the boys want this one particular girl. And he barrels off about 10 reasons. And it makes me sad. For her. For me. Brings back memories. Makes me sad that my son is one of those boys.
We talk about character. And he says, "Mom, no kids talk about character." We just watched the movie "Flipped," (great movie, rent it) and it talks about people being more or less than the sum of their parts. I remind him of this. I ask him if he is more than the sum of his parts? How does this girl feel knowing no one wants to dance with her?
He says his good friend Braden will, he doesn't mind it. That he danced with her last time. I say, "His mother has raised him well." I am trying to get into my son's head because I want him see that God made this girl. She is a Child of God. There is nothing wrong with her.
And then he says it. He says, "Mom, I'm sorry but I just want to be cool." And don't we all? The world is telling us this everyday. We have to be cool, look good, be rich, have fast cars, know the right people, blah, blah, blah..... And it's all a lie. And our kids are believing it and so then this not-so-pretty-on-outside-girl gets shoved aside.
I tell him when we get to heaven and stand before God, He doesn't care if we were cool. He cares if we were kind. Were we kind to one another. Even to the unlovely. I am praying today if this precious little girl chooses my son to dance that he will be kind.
Cool is so changing and superficial and not lasting. The bible says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
Friday, December 3, 2010
December Grief
I can't be the only one who gets a little down this time of year. Why not blog about it? Humor seems to help. Here's some Dont's and a few Do's this Christmas season. Most I have learned the hard way!
DON'T! Watch "The Christmas Shoes" movie if you're already sad. This is not helpful. The song alone is a complete tearjerker. This one I did last night. BIG mistake.
DO! Watch "The Office" immediately following any sad movie. Last night Michael Scott saved a life (his own). He was thinking about jumping off the roof of his office building but was talked down by his co-workers. He took credit for saving his own life. I sure needed that laugh. LAUGH, it's good for the soul.
DON'T! In a weak moment, eat the king-size Hersey Bar in an old fashioned wrapper that you purchased for your mother-in-law for Christmas (from Cracker Barrel). Sorry JoAnne. Because you don't have any other chocolate in the house.
DO! Always have chocolate in the house. Duh.
DON'T! When you aren't feeling well, watch a marathon of "House" because when the doorbell rings you think Hugh Laurie might be at your door.
DO! Turn off the TV. Take a bath. Read. Sleep.
DON'T! Get all weird and hide out in your house. Don't be afraid to call a friend and say, "I'm sad and really missing_____." Who cares how long it's been? When I am 90 years old, I am still going to miss Jeff Wenzel, love of my life, daddy to my kids. I really need to take my own advice here. I am becoming a hermit this week.
DO! Pick up the phone.
DON'T! Be afraid to ask for help. I feel like I am always needing help. And it stinks. But people want to help; we just need to tell them. With our mouth. Without pride. We must set it aside. We all just need each other. Some more than others. And that's okay.
Do! Let people in. It's biblical for others to serve each other. Sometime we serve them and sometimes they serve us.
DON'T! Be so wrapped up in your own Christmas festivities and Jolly Good Time that you miss the person near you who might be struggling this year. Not everyone is happy this time of year. Others have lost someone. Others have lost a job. Others are going through a divorce. Others are struggling financially. Fill in the blank ____________.
DO! Look around and see if someone needs you. They might not have the courage to say so. You might be aware because God has led your heart. Because you were listening to His voice. How brave of you.
DON'T! Be afraid to say the name of the person who has gone to heaven. I sure know I love to hear it. I don't want my kids to ever forget their dad. Maybe send a card to a family member telling them you are thinking of them. Just something saying this person has not been forgotten.
DO! Give extra hugs and kisses to your loved ones. You never know how many days you have. Each one is a blessing. Be grateful for your spouse. Treat them with respect. They are a gift.
I may have to read these words often this month. Moments feel heavy and days feel long. But Jesus has always been the reason we celebrate Christmas. Not all the sparkly lights and presents. I will try to keep my eyes on Him. If you too are grieving this Christmas, I pray He can lighten your load. Always with Hope.
DON'T! Watch "The Christmas Shoes" movie if you're already sad. This is not helpful. The song alone is a complete tearjerker. This one I did last night. BIG mistake.
DO! Watch "The Office" immediately following any sad movie. Last night Michael Scott saved a life (his own). He was thinking about jumping off the roof of his office building but was talked down by his co-workers. He took credit for saving his own life. I sure needed that laugh. LAUGH, it's good for the soul.
DON'T! In a weak moment, eat the king-size Hersey Bar in an old fashioned wrapper that you purchased for your mother-in-law for Christmas (from Cracker Barrel). Sorry JoAnne. Because you don't have any other chocolate in the house.
DO! Always have chocolate in the house. Duh.
DON'T! When you aren't feeling well, watch a marathon of "House" because when the doorbell rings you think Hugh Laurie might be at your door.
DO! Turn off the TV. Take a bath. Read. Sleep.
DON'T! Get all weird and hide out in your house. Don't be afraid to call a friend and say, "I'm sad and really missing_____." Who cares how long it's been? When I am 90 years old, I am still going to miss Jeff Wenzel, love of my life, daddy to my kids. I really need to take my own advice here. I am becoming a hermit this week.
DO! Pick up the phone.
DON'T! Be afraid to ask for help. I feel like I am always needing help. And it stinks. But people want to help; we just need to tell them. With our mouth. Without pride. We must set it aside. We all just need each other. Some more than others. And that's okay.
Do! Let people in. It's biblical for others to serve each other. Sometime we serve them and sometimes they serve us.
DON'T! Be so wrapped up in your own Christmas festivities and Jolly Good Time that you miss the person near you who might be struggling this year. Not everyone is happy this time of year. Others have lost someone. Others have lost a job. Others are going through a divorce. Others are struggling financially. Fill in the blank ____________.
DO! Look around and see if someone needs you. They might not have the courage to say so. You might be aware because God has led your heart. Because you were listening to His voice. How brave of you.
DON'T! Be afraid to say the name of the person who has gone to heaven. I sure know I love to hear it. I don't want my kids to ever forget their dad. Maybe send a card to a family member telling them you are thinking of them. Just something saying this person has not been forgotten.
DO! Give extra hugs and kisses to your loved ones. You never know how many days you have. Each one is a blessing. Be grateful for your spouse. Treat them with respect. They are a gift.
I may have to read these words often this month. Moments feel heavy and days feel long. But Jesus has always been the reason we celebrate Christmas. Not all the sparkly lights and presents. I will try to keep my eyes on Him. If you too are grieving this Christmas, I pray He can lighten your load. Always with Hope.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Turkey Confessions
It's the eve of Thanksgiving and I've got a confession. I'm 45 years old and I've never cooked a turkey. There I've said it out loud. Rather embarrassing wouldn't you say? Truth is I'm not a very good cook. I just don't know what I'm doing. I look at the food and nothing comes to me. Just before I started blogging I was preparing my "Thanksgiving Food Item" which I bring every year. A veggie tray. Yes, that's right, I can cut up veggies. And I'm only 45 years old. My dear Olivia walked into the kitchen about an hour ago and asked me if I have ever put my entire hand inside a chicken's bottom. I said without hesitation, "No, I have not."
I also bring Sweet Potatoes (my grandmother's recipe) which is from a can but Please, oh Please don't ask me to make the turkey. I am in awe of those who do cook. I love to watch cooking shows. Love "Top Chef."
Recently, I read a quote that I can't get out of my head (I have it taped to my fridge hoping it will rub off on me). It's by actress Jennie Garth. She has three daughters. She said, "I cook every day. If I don't cook, they don't eat. Who's going to do it? I'm their mother?" Wow. I mean she could pay someone or order the food in. But she does it herself because she's their mother. I am in awe of this. My poor kids. Hotdogs, anyone?
When I first married Jeff, he figured out early on I was no chef. I didn't even know how to cook meat. He would come home from work and ask what kind of meat had I boiled in water for dinner? Yikes. So I've come a long way, baby. I can now make a mean Salsa, scrambled eggs and Oreo Brownies.
Maybe 2011 will be the year I learn to love cooking! Or maybe I'll meat (oops! no pun intended) a wonderful man who just happens to be a world class chef! Hey, we can't be good at everything, right? So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for those God has blessed with culinary skills. For tomorrow we will eat the fruits of YOUR gifting rather than mine. Happy Thanksgiving.
I also bring Sweet Potatoes (my grandmother's recipe) which is from a can but Please, oh Please don't ask me to make the turkey. I am in awe of those who do cook. I love to watch cooking shows. Love "Top Chef."
Recently, I read a quote that I can't get out of my head (I have it taped to my fridge hoping it will rub off on me). It's by actress Jennie Garth. She has three daughters. She said, "I cook every day. If I don't cook, they don't eat. Who's going to do it? I'm their mother?" Wow. I mean she could pay someone or order the food in. But she does it herself because she's their mother. I am in awe of this. My poor kids. Hotdogs, anyone?
When I first married Jeff, he figured out early on I was no chef. I didn't even know how to cook meat. He would come home from work and ask what kind of meat had I boiled in water for dinner? Yikes. So I've come a long way, baby. I can now make a mean Salsa, scrambled eggs and Oreo Brownies.
Maybe 2011 will be the year I learn to love cooking! Or maybe I'll meat (oops! no pun intended) a wonderful man who just happens to be a world class chef! Hey, we can't be good at everything, right? So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for those God has blessed with culinary skills. For tomorrow we will eat the fruits of YOUR gifting rather than mine. Happy Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
ENOUGH!
ENOUGH! No, I'm not talking about Jennifer Lopez's 2002 movie about domestic violence, although it was a good one. I am referring the day-after-election-results blame game. It's very frustrating to see even my FB friends status's reflect this. So I'm taking it to my blog. You don't have to agree with me but it's my blog so I feel led to share.
The thing is our country is a mess because of all of us. One man cannot have caused all this. George W. Bush cannot have been responsible for all that is going wrong in our country; just as President Obama is not either. They would have to be elevated to the supreme position of "GOD" to be able to orchestrate what people are accusing them of.
WE make up this wonderful country. Those two men did not make us borrow more than we could afford on our homes, credit cards or cars. Certainly banks have their hands in all this. Many things have gone awry. As a group we have to work together to fix this. Blaming presidents seems like the silliest thing since one, they don't have that much power and two, they don't have that much power. Oh, I said that already. Hmmm.
Who's your daddy? Well, mine is not President Obama. I am not looking for a man to save me. My Father and only Savior who can fix this mess is Jesus. And I personally think that's why we are in this mess to begin with. I listened to the President's speech today and what he seemed so concerned with is that we aren't the biggest power in the universe anymore. He kept referring to China having some computer system that we didn't. And that our kids needed to be the smartest kids in the world. Why is that?
Our compass has gotten off who created us. And things all us around seem uncertain. People are out of work. Losing their homes. Don't have money to feed their kids, go to the doctor or just provide basic living expenses. And our President is concerned that China is beating us. As if we are in some contest.
I am suggesting our Father who made us only wants one thing from us. Us. I am going to make a commitment to pray for our great country which seems to be in deep trouble. Not from losing it's "Super Power Status," not from being one of the richest countries, not from being one of the smartest countries, not from being one of the biggest military powers. But losing it's "One Nation Under God" status. From moving so far away from Jesus that we aren't even allowed to mention His name without offending someone.
It's not too late, the mountain is not too big. There is always HOPE.
The thing is our country is a mess because of all of us. One man cannot have caused all this. George W. Bush cannot have been responsible for all that is going wrong in our country; just as President Obama is not either. They would have to be elevated to the supreme position of "GOD" to be able to orchestrate what people are accusing them of.
WE make up this wonderful country. Those two men did not make us borrow more than we could afford on our homes, credit cards or cars. Certainly banks have their hands in all this. Many things have gone awry. As a group we have to work together to fix this. Blaming presidents seems like the silliest thing since one, they don't have that much power and two, they don't have that much power. Oh, I said that already. Hmmm.
Who's your daddy? Well, mine is not President Obama. I am not looking for a man to save me. My Father and only Savior who can fix this mess is Jesus. And I personally think that's why we are in this mess to begin with. I listened to the President's speech today and what he seemed so concerned with is that we aren't the biggest power in the universe anymore. He kept referring to China having some computer system that we didn't. And that our kids needed to be the smartest kids in the world. Why is that?
Our compass has gotten off who created us. And things all us around seem uncertain. People are out of work. Losing their homes. Don't have money to feed their kids, go to the doctor or just provide basic living expenses. And our President is concerned that China is beating us. As if we are in some contest.
I am suggesting our Father who made us only wants one thing from us. Us. I am going to make a commitment to pray for our great country which seems to be in deep trouble. Not from losing it's "Super Power Status," not from being one of the richest countries, not from being one of the smartest countries, not from being one of the biggest military powers. But losing it's "One Nation Under God" status. From moving so far away from Jesus that we aren't even allowed to mention His name without offending someone.
It's not too late, the mountain is not too big. There is always HOPE.
Monday, November 1, 2010
An Old Lady On A Bus
I was fortunate and had a good marriage before becoming a widow about 3 1/2 years ago. Of course, this was not my plan. I'm still pretty sore about it but as you know; my opinion wasn't requested in the matter. So here I sit, a middle-aged, graying, wobbly-bits gal with three kids wondering why the knight-in-shining armour on a white horse had to leave so soon. And you can be certain another one like him won't be coming around too soon. Things have changed a bit since I first met Jeff Wenzel in 1995. He was such a "stud" (they don't use that word anymore, I'm sure) and I wasn't too bad looking either. I'm beginning to see I don't have "it" anymore when I look around the general vicinity of me. I know I wear the dreaded "mom" jeans. I thought "let's get a little more with it." I headed to Maurice's for some of these Blingy jeans and the sweetest girl tried her hardest to help me. It was almost as bad as trying on bathing suits. I left in my good, comfortable jeans with no purchase convinced there must be something wrong with my body. Oh well.
I just don't want to start all over with this body at this age with love. It just doesn't seem to fit right. Like those jeans. But God sometimes has plans for us that we don't understand. I am trying to be open to His ways. But I feel like an old lady on a bus. Let me explain. I love to watch "The Office." I know it's disturbingly funny. Anyway. Michael Scott (the main character) demands his employees provide a name of a prospective woman for him to date within the hour or they will be fired. I told you it was disturbing. He of course thinks he should be with a supermodel (what guy doesn't) so he is irritated to meet a woman at a coffee shop who is rather plain. After spending time with her, he thanks her and says, "This has been nice, talking with you is like talking to an old lady on a bus." Of course he meant this as a compliment, she said he was rude.
For some reason I feel like that now. Not that I used to be a supermodel. But I was to Jeff. You know the bible talks about marrying the wife of your youth and then you grow old together. Oh, I wanted that whole dream. The country song and everything, rocking chairs, gray hairs, she can hardly sweep the floor. That's what I signed up for. NOT.....body parts heading south, graying, bulging, going blind and wondering if someone is just going to think I'm an old lady on a bus. God must have a sense of humor! If Michael Scott is still available, I think I look a little better than the gal at the coffee shop.
I just don't want to start all over with this body at this age with love. It just doesn't seem to fit right. Like those jeans. But God sometimes has plans for us that we don't understand. I am trying to be open to His ways. But I feel like an old lady on a bus. Let me explain. I love to watch "The Office." I know it's disturbingly funny. Anyway. Michael Scott (the main character) demands his employees provide a name of a prospective woman for him to date within the hour or they will be fired. I told you it was disturbing. He of course thinks he should be with a supermodel (what guy doesn't) so he is irritated to meet a woman at a coffee shop who is rather plain. After spending time with her, he thanks her and says, "This has been nice, talking with you is like talking to an old lady on a bus." Of course he meant this as a compliment, she said he was rude.
For some reason I feel like that now. Not that I used to be a supermodel. But I was to Jeff. You know the bible talks about marrying the wife of your youth and then you grow old together. Oh, I wanted that whole dream. The country song and everything, rocking chairs, gray hairs, she can hardly sweep the floor. That's what I signed up for. NOT.....body parts heading south, graying, bulging, going blind and wondering if someone is just going to think I'm an old lady on a bus. God must have a sense of humor! If Michael Scott is still available, I think I look a little better than the gal at the coffee shop.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
My Hoopla Sisters
My goodness, it's been over a month since I posted on here. Something major must have happened in my life. Oh yes, I started a job. Sorry about that. Tired girl is not a good base for a blog. In case you're wondering, I really like my job. I like the people. I like the environment. It's a good thing for me to interact with adults again, to use my brain. I am thankful.
Friends. I am going to tell you about my dearest friends. I call them my Hoopla Sisters. Linda, Stacey and Tobi (and Debbie who lives in Phoenix, whom I have known since 6th grade is an Honorary Hoopla). These girls have walked through the fire with me. Why are they called my Hoopla Sisters? You read my testimony so you know what Jesus brought me through. For the one year anniversary I wanted to mark the date with a special weekend with these three friends as they had been through so much with me. I made invitations for them to "Reneene's Healing Hoopla" weekend. We stayed at a hotel and I got to thank them for all they had done. We took salsa dance lessons, had pedicures, saw "Hairspray" at the movies. It was a great time. Anyway from that day on, they became my Hoopla Sisters.
One of them would call and my kids confusingly would say, "Mom, your Hobo Sister is on the phone." or "Your Poopla Sister is on the phone." Anyway the name has stuck.
Oh, we started out as regular friends. Nothing heavy. Well, one of them did date my husband. But then the running joke has always been, who in Wichita hasn't dated Jeff Wenzel? He had to go to Arizona to find a wife. Ha ha. He didn't seem freaked out that she and I became instant heart friends. It's like we were meant to be together, we have such similar childhood stories. What would I do without her wisdom and counsel? She knows exactly what to say to me. She always ask the hard questions that you don't want to answer. I just love her.
Another hoopla sister is a neighbor. She and I are like Lucy and Ethel. Left to our own accord, I'm sure we could get into some trouble. We are the kind of friends who could talk 5 times day and there would still be stuff to talk about. We both have fumbled our way through being home with our kids. It's like we were made the same. I always call her for advice, about anything.
And finally the peaceful one. We all need a friend who you know exactly how she is going to react. I can be a bit high strung but she is as calm as a cucumber. When I when to Phoenix to speak and share my testimony, this is the girl who came. I knew she would be able to keep me level headed. But man is she funny, she has this dry sense of humor that you would never expect.
Oh, we started out as regular friends. We liked being with each other when we could get away. And then they were put to the test on April 1, 2003. Brain tumor. Things were moved up to a new level in the friendship chain. These girls would walk through fire for me. I say this with certainty because they have already done so.
Do you have friends on this level? I am so blessed and know they are gifts from God. They never backed up. They are STRONG women. They have held up my arms when I could not hold them up. They have reminded me who I am in Christ when I have forgotten. They showed up at the Psych. hospital when I was overwhelmed with shame. They have listened to all my deepest fears, longings, wishes, questions, frustrations and any other emotion you can think of. They have sat at the ER on many occasions to treat a migraine. They have held me as I have cried buckets of tears. They were there the day my husband died and they were there the day we gave him back to Jesus.
Years later, they remain my tight circle who I reach out to for counsel, advice and they are my voices of reason. I trust them completely with my life. My children. My heart. My future. They have proven to be the kind of friends that Jesus talks about we should be, one who lays down his life for his friend. They have done that for me. I love them. I could not have gotten through what Jesus had put in front of me without them.
This is dedicated to my dear Hoopla Sisters.
Friends. I am going to tell you about my dearest friends. I call them my Hoopla Sisters. Linda, Stacey and Tobi (and Debbie who lives in Phoenix, whom I have known since 6th grade is an Honorary Hoopla). These girls have walked through the fire with me. Why are they called my Hoopla Sisters? You read my testimony so you know what Jesus brought me through. For the one year anniversary I wanted to mark the date with a special weekend with these three friends as they had been through so much with me. I made invitations for them to "Reneene's Healing Hoopla" weekend. We stayed at a hotel and I got to thank them for all they had done. We took salsa dance lessons, had pedicures, saw "Hairspray" at the movies. It was a great time. Anyway from that day on, they became my Hoopla Sisters.
One of them would call and my kids confusingly would say, "Mom, your Hobo Sister is on the phone." or "Your Poopla Sister is on the phone." Anyway the name has stuck.
Oh, we started out as regular friends. Nothing heavy. Well, one of them did date my husband. But then the running joke has always been, who in Wichita hasn't dated Jeff Wenzel? He had to go to Arizona to find a wife. Ha ha. He didn't seem freaked out that she and I became instant heart friends. It's like we were meant to be together, we have such similar childhood stories. What would I do without her wisdom and counsel? She knows exactly what to say to me. She always ask the hard questions that you don't want to answer. I just love her.
Another hoopla sister is a neighbor. She and I are like Lucy and Ethel. Left to our own accord, I'm sure we could get into some trouble. We are the kind of friends who could talk 5 times day and there would still be stuff to talk about. We both have fumbled our way through being home with our kids. It's like we were made the same. I always call her for advice, about anything.
And finally the peaceful one. We all need a friend who you know exactly how she is going to react. I can be a bit high strung but she is as calm as a cucumber. When I when to Phoenix to speak and share my testimony, this is the girl who came. I knew she would be able to keep me level headed. But man is she funny, she has this dry sense of humor that you would never expect.
Oh, we started out as regular friends. We liked being with each other when we could get away. And then they were put to the test on April 1, 2003. Brain tumor. Things were moved up to a new level in the friendship chain. These girls would walk through fire for me. I say this with certainty because they have already done so.
Do you have friends on this level? I am so blessed and know they are gifts from God. They never backed up. They are STRONG women. They have held up my arms when I could not hold them up. They have reminded me who I am in Christ when I have forgotten. They showed up at the Psych. hospital when I was overwhelmed with shame. They have listened to all my deepest fears, longings, wishes, questions, frustrations and any other emotion you can think of. They have sat at the ER on many occasions to treat a migraine. They have held me as I have cried buckets of tears. They were there the day my husband died and they were there the day we gave him back to Jesus.
Years later, they remain my tight circle who I reach out to for counsel, advice and they are my voices of reason. I trust them completely with my life. My children. My heart. My future. They have proven to be the kind of friends that Jesus talks about we should be, one who lays down his life for his friend. They have done that for me. I love them. I could not have gotten through what Jesus had put in front of me without them.
This is dedicated to my dear Hoopla Sisters.
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