On Friday, I am going to be with my oldest and dearest friend (since 6th grade) as her only daughter marries. How exciting for Paige and Matt! Marriage is serious business. Many take it lightly. Many walk away so easily. Or don't even marry at all. God is a big fan of marriage, he created it, designed it. Not to be entered lightly, in sickness and health, forsaking all others, till death do us part. Bringing back memories?
When we were young and in love (and I mean, seriously "in love'') standing up at that altar, we would've said just about anything to be married to this almost perfect person. Remember the moment? Really, it's better not knowing what might be ahead, kind of like a roller coaster. Specifically, Space Mountain at Disney World. It's a roller coaster in a mountain and you are completely in the dark.
I believe if God told us in advance all that was ahead for us in our marriage, many might not go through with it. The fun of marriage is figuring life out together, even the hard stuff. You might not think I can give marital advice since I am no longer married. Alas! I am the perfect person, I was married for 10 years and after such an enormous loss, I have great perspective.
Be adventurous. Try new things. Don't nag and nit-pick and try to change your spouse, the only person you can change is YOU. Don't make mountains out of molehills, are you willing to die on this hill for whatever you are fighting over? Most things are not that big of a deal. Chill-out. Cancer is a big deal. Let your spouse be them and you be you, still having your own friends and individual time but also couple time. Laugh a lot. Don't go to bed angry if possible. NEVER talk negative about your spouse with your family when you're fighting, you will make-up but they will remember what you said because you will always be their baby. Don't be selfish. Do little things to remind your spouse you love them everyday. Listen, listen, listen. Work out holidays in advance and let your families know what your doing, you are a family now; this will be a big adjustment. Respect each other, men really need to feel respected, this is huge for them. Women need to feel loved, this is very important. "The Five Love Languages" is a good book to get. Be grateful for everyday you have with each other. It is a gift. Not everyone experiences love/marriage, you are fortunate. And God does not promise we will live to be 100 years old, sitting on a front porch growing old together. Live everyday as it is your last. Life is fleeting. Lastly, always have God at the center of your marriage.
It's truly the little things in marriage I miss the most. Walking through the back door and saying "I'm home." Or calling to see how his day is going or vice versa. Just having another human being fully committed to me, caring about me and my well-being. My number one fan. My protector. My cheerleader. When I need to fall apart or have a moment, he's the one I felt safe with. Crawling in bed next to a warm body. Making some funny comment and he knows exactly what I meant. Having two extra hands with the kids. With everything. Someone to __________ you fill in the blank. My life partner in all things. That's what marriage is. That's what you sign-up for when you say I do. The good, the bad, the ugly. But it's beautiful!
Marriage at it's finest is grand. I'm a huge fan and I believe you will have a wonderful life if you always put the other before yourself. You have a great example in your parents, Paige! Still haven't made it through a wedding without losing it completely. The vows always get me, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. For those of you who are married, I hope you realize how truly lucky you are. Because your children are watching how you do this marriage thing, how you treat one another. You are their example for their future marriage. Here's to marriage!
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