Parenting, hands down is the hardest, most challenging part of my life. Even more than losing my spouse to cancer. You know the saying, "I was the best parent before I had kids." It's a daunting and enormous gift we have been given, our children. Not for the faint of heart, no turning back, not a part time gig. It's a 24/7, 365 days a year, 18+ years for each kid, kind of commitment. Nobody gives this much of themselves to a career/job, some barely to a spouse. Parenting is serious business.
A few years back in my small group from church, we were going through Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" bible study. I will never forget a story she shared, it's from comedian Gilda Radner's book "It's Always Something:"
When I was little, my nurse Dibby's cousin had a dog, just a mutt, and the dog was pregnant. I don't know how long dogs are pregnant, but she was due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one day and got in the way of the lawn mower and her two hind legs got cut off. They rushed her to the vet and he said, "I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want, but the puppies are okay. She'll be able to deliver the puppies."
Dibby's cousin said, "Keep her alive."
So the vet sewed up her backside, and over the next week the dog learned walk. She didn't spend any time worrying, she just learned to walk by taking two steps in the front and flipping up her backside, and then taking two steps and flipping up her backside again. She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health. She nursed them and then weaned them. And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her.
This story comes to my mind over the years. It says so much about being a parent. I have an incredible capacity to teach my children, they are watching me, mimicking me. What am I doing? I can want them to have certain qualities in their life but if I don't have them in mine, we'll you can guess it.
I am realizing each day the not so desirable behaviors I am seeing in my children have been regularly modeled by me. Ouch. This is hard to admit and write on my blog but I cannot expect my children to have self-control, patience, gentleness, kindness, be slow to anger when I have just blown my cool and yelled at them. See the hypocrisy?
The truth is, if you don't like being around your kids because they are rude, disrespectful, disobedient, little bullies (and I am talking to myself here too) it's your fault, us the parents. They have become what we have allowed. Maybe you're doing it alone and you're tired. Maybe you've checked out and this is what they have become. Maybe their dad died and you have over-indulged or overcompensated. It may be hard to hear but re-read the above story again. Unfortunately, our society today caters to kids. They are "the center of the universe."
There are days I look at the mountain in front of me and think it's just TOO BIG. I can't fix all the mistakes I've made and we do make them. But the Jesus I have known in the past, the one who has never left my side, is big enough to move mountains. HE loves children. And since He left me down here with these three blessings, I guess He thought I could do it.
We are raising children but really we are raising adults. It's a lifelong commitment and there are days it takes more than we have. Days we wonder if this is going to turn out or if we will be visiting a prison in 20 years (do you have these days?). And days when your children surprise you with their acts of kindness toward their siblings or unselfishness.
If you are reading this blog entry and don't have children, don't feel left out. Look around. There are so many kids needing a mentor or maybe there's a family member or friend who needs a break every week. Help someone out who has kids. It's an enormous undertaking, you could be a source of relief for a single parent or family. And your life would be so enriched too. Kids are amazing, truly they are. You will not regret pouring into a child's life.
My deepest fear is that I'm going to mess this up. And since I believe it's the most important thing God has placed in my hands, I ask you to pray for me. Pray as I parent my children alone. Pray I will regularly seek Jesus. And as I do, He will again begin to change my heart to look more like Him. Pray the example my children see will only be Him and not me. So much to ask for but my task is big. As is yours, I too will pray for you.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Here's To Marriage: Paige & Matt
On Friday, I am going to be with my oldest and dearest friend (since 6th grade) as her only daughter marries. How exciting for Paige and Matt! Marriage is serious business. Many take it lightly. Many walk away so easily. Or don't even marry at all. God is a big fan of marriage, he created it, designed it. Not to be entered lightly, in sickness and health, forsaking all others, till death do us part. Bringing back memories?
When we were young and in love (and I mean, seriously "in love'') standing up at that altar, we would've said just about anything to be married to this almost perfect person. Remember the moment? Really, it's better not knowing what might be ahead, kind of like a roller coaster. Specifically, Space Mountain at Disney World. It's a roller coaster in a mountain and you are completely in the dark.
I believe if God told us in advance all that was ahead for us in our marriage, many might not go through with it. The fun of marriage is figuring life out together, even the hard stuff. You might not think I can give marital advice since I am no longer married. Alas! I am the perfect person, I was married for 10 years and after such an enormous loss, I have great perspective.
Be adventurous. Try new things. Don't nag and nit-pick and try to change your spouse, the only person you can change is YOU. Don't make mountains out of molehills, are you willing to die on this hill for whatever you are fighting over? Most things are not that big of a deal. Chill-out. Cancer is a big deal. Let your spouse be them and you be you, still having your own friends and individual time but also couple time. Laugh a lot. Don't go to bed angry if possible. NEVER talk negative about your spouse with your family when you're fighting, you will make-up but they will remember what you said because you will always be their baby. Don't be selfish. Do little things to remind your spouse you love them everyday. Listen, listen, listen. Work out holidays in advance and let your families know what your doing, you are a family now; this will be a big adjustment. Respect each other, men really need to feel respected, this is huge for them. Women need to feel loved, this is very important. "The Five Love Languages" is a good book to get. Be grateful for everyday you have with each other. It is a gift. Not everyone experiences love/marriage, you are fortunate. And God does not promise we will live to be 100 years old, sitting on a front porch growing old together. Live everyday as it is your last. Life is fleeting. Lastly, always have God at the center of your marriage.
It's truly the little things in marriage I miss the most. Walking through the back door and saying "I'm home." Or calling to see how his day is going or vice versa. Just having another human being fully committed to me, caring about me and my well-being. My number one fan. My protector. My cheerleader. When I need to fall apart or have a moment, he's the one I felt safe with. Crawling in bed next to a warm body. Making some funny comment and he knows exactly what I meant. Having two extra hands with the kids. With everything. Someone to __________ you fill in the blank. My life partner in all things. That's what marriage is. That's what you sign-up for when you say I do. The good, the bad, the ugly. But it's beautiful!
Marriage at it's finest is grand. I'm a huge fan and I believe you will have a wonderful life if you always put the other before yourself. You have a great example in your parents, Paige! Still haven't made it through a wedding without losing it completely. The vows always get me, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. For those of you who are married, I hope you realize how truly lucky you are. Because your children are watching how you do this marriage thing, how you treat one another. You are their example for their future marriage. Here's to marriage!
When we were young and in love (and I mean, seriously "in love'') standing up at that altar, we would've said just about anything to be married to this almost perfect person. Remember the moment? Really, it's better not knowing what might be ahead, kind of like a roller coaster. Specifically, Space Mountain at Disney World. It's a roller coaster in a mountain and you are completely in the dark.
I believe if God told us in advance all that was ahead for us in our marriage, many might not go through with it. The fun of marriage is figuring life out together, even the hard stuff. You might not think I can give marital advice since I am no longer married. Alas! I am the perfect person, I was married for 10 years and after such an enormous loss, I have great perspective.
Be adventurous. Try new things. Don't nag and nit-pick and try to change your spouse, the only person you can change is YOU. Don't make mountains out of molehills, are you willing to die on this hill for whatever you are fighting over? Most things are not that big of a deal. Chill-out. Cancer is a big deal. Let your spouse be them and you be you, still having your own friends and individual time but also couple time. Laugh a lot. Don't go to bed angry if possible. NEVER talk negative about your spouse with your family when you're fighting, you will make-up but they will remember what you said because you will always be their baby. Don't be selfish. Do little things to remind your spouse you love them everyday. Listen, listen, listen. Work out holidays in advance and let your families know what your doing, you are a family now; this will be a big adjustment. Respect each other, men really need to feel respected, this is huge for them. Women need to feel loved, this is very important. "The Five Love Languages" is a good book to get. Be grateful for everyday you have with each other. It is a gift. Not everyone experiences love/marriage, you are fortunate. And God does not promise we will live to be 100 years old, sitting on a front porch growing old together. Live everyday as it is your last. Life is fleeting. Lastly, always have God at the center of your marriage.
It's truly the little things in marriage I miss the most. Walking through the back door and saying "I'm home." Or calling to see how his day is going or vice versa. Just having another human being fully committed to me, caring about me and my well-being. My number one fan. My protector. My cheerleader. When I need to fall apart or have a moment, he's the one I felt safe with. Crawling in bed next to a warm body. Making some funny comment and he knows exactly what I meant. Having two extra hands with the kids. With everything. Someone to __________ you fill in the blank. My life partner in all things. That's what marriage is. That's what you sign-up for when you say I do. The good, the bad, the ugly. But it's beautiful!
Marriage at it's finest is grand. I'm a huge fan and I believe you will have a wonderful life if you always put the other before yourself. You have a great example in your parents, Paige! Still haven't made it through a wedding without losing it completely. The vows always get me, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. For those of you who are married, I hope you realize how truly lucky you are. Because your children are watching how you do this marriage thing, how you treat one another. You are their example for their future marriage. Here's to marriage!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Robertson vs. Robertson
I am torn. There are about 10 things I need to be doing today after my 4 1/2 power nap yesterday but I woke to Pat Robertson all over the news. Inner turmoil and words crammed into my brain have won out. In case you haven't heard the disturbing news, brace yourself. Mr. Robertson announced on his "700 Club" television show (lovely): Divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's is justifiable. He said, he believes the disease is "a kind of death." Isn't that nice of him?
I am just flat out mad. He told a male viewer whose friend had started seeing another woman after his wife was diagnosed, and I quote "I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her."
That somebody should be her husband. He agreed to the deal the day he said "I Do." I realize in our society people get divorced for just about any old reason. I believe the term "irreconcilable differences" is the catch-all but this is a supposed Christian leader.
Robertson McQuilkin was married 40 years to his wonderful bride Muriel when she began having symptoms of Alzheimer's. He was president of Columbia Bible College at the time and had been for 22 years when he resigned in 1990 to care for her full-time.
These are the words he spoke to the board at the college:
Through the four years of Jeff's cancer fight he would at times apologize to me, for putting me through this. As if he had any control or choice. But I don't hold Pat's view. I always counted myself the luckiest girl in the world. Even now. I would rather walk through brain cancer with Jeff than be married to any other man I'd tell him. And I meant it. Did you know him? You know what I mean then. Not once in those 4 years did he complain or ask God "Why me?
Not me of course, I was not happy about it one bit. But every night he would kneel by the side of the bed to pray. Even at the very end when he couldn't remember to get back up and I would wake-up and he was still there by the side of the bed. Truly amazing man. These are the stories I get to share with my children.
Now 4 years is a long time. I guess some people might have "hit the road." To me, it wasn't long enough. There is such beauty in pain and you can miss it if you check-out or move on. Sometimes life is hard, God never promises us happiness but He won't ever leave us. If you are going through something difficult, gut-wretching, painful, bigger than you can handle please know it's not for nothing. God can and will use it all if we let Him in. Let Him carry you but I promise you, He doesn't want you to walk away just because you might not be happy anymore. Happiness is so overrated.
So, there you are. Two very differing views from men with the name "Robertson."
Pat Robertson or Robertson McQuilkin, which one would you rather be married to?
An oncologist quoted in the book, "A Promise Kept" said, "Almost all women stand by their men, very few men stand by their women." In regards to illness. Interesting quote. A side note, Jeff wasn't very compassionate in regards to my migraines until he began having headaches for 3 weeks before finding the brain tumor. After that, he was much more sympathetic to mine. I was secretly thankful.
I am just flat out mad. He told a male viewer whose friend had started seeing another woman after his wife was diagnosed, and I quote "I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her."
That somebody should be her husband. He agreed to the deal the day he said "I Do." I realize in our society people get divorced for just about any old reason. I believe the term "irreconcilable differences" is the catch-all but this is a supposed Christian leader.
Robertson McQuilkin was married 40 years to his wonderful bride Muriel when she began having symptoms of Alzheimer's. He was president of Columbia Bible College at the time and had been for 22 years when he resigned in 1990 to care for her full-time.
These are the words he spoke to the board at the college:
…recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contented most of the time she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just "discontent." She is filled with fear—even terror—that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home. So it is clear to me that she needs me now, full-time… The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel "in sickness and in health…till death do us part." So, as I told the students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me—her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don't have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.Have you ever heard anything so beautiful? You should get his book. It's called "A Promise Kept," someone gave it to me after Jeff's brain tumor was removed because the husband who came home was very different than the one I married. Those of you who were around, remember what a challenging time it was. Funny thing is Jeff really liked the new him. I had to grapple with, what if he never goes back to how he was? But I made a vow before God and a lot of people. Interestingly, it wasn't until I fully gave it to Jesus and said, "Ok, if this my new husband, I'm okay with it." The moment I accepted him fully and he felt it, he began to change more into the person he was.
Through the four years of Jeff's cancer fight he would at times apologize to me, for putting me through this. As if he had any control or choice. But I don't hold Pat's view. I always counted myself the luckiest girl in the world. Even now. I would rather walk through brain cancer with Jeff than be married to any other man I'd tell him. And I meant it. Did you know him? You know what I mean then. Not once in those 4 years did he complain or ask God "Why me?
Not me of course, I was not happy about it one bit. But every night he would kneel by the side of the bed to pray. Even at the very end when he couldn't remember to get back up and I would wake-up and he was still there by the side of the bed. Truly amazing man. These are the stories I get to share with my children.
Now 4 years is a long time. I guess some people might have "hit the road." To me, it wasn't long enough. There is such beauty in pain and you can miss it if you check-out or move on. Sometimes life is hard, God never promises us happiness but He won't ever leave us. If you are going through something difficult, gut-wretching, painful, bigger than you can handle please know it's not for nothing. God can and will use it all if we let Him in. Let Him carry you but I promise you, He doesn't want you to walk away just because you might not be happy anymore. Happiness is so overrated.
So, there you are. Two very differing views from men with the name "Robertson."
Pat Robertson or Robertson McQuilkin, which one would you rather be married to?
An oncologist quoted in the book, "A Promise Kept" said, "Almost all women stand by their men, very few men stand by their women." In regards to illness. Interesting quote. A side note, Jeff wasn't very compassionate in regards to my migraines until he began having headaches for 3 weeks before finding the brain tumor. After that, he was much more sympathetic to mine. I was secretly thankful.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Whackadoodle and Johnny Cash!
Just so you know, I'm not always a whackadoodle. I have my moments of lucid thoughts and deep conversations. There does seem to be a pattern with my posts. One "airhead" situation and then a meaningful time with one of my kids or Jesus. Isn't that how life works? Much more exciting.
Each of my children are very different. My oldest prefers comedies when it comes to movies and my middle, well I can talk him into deeper, dramatic themed movies. I have been wanting to watch "Walk the Line" with him, the story of Johnny Cash's life. He was home sick one day last week and we did just that.
If you have seen it, the movie is very hard to watch at times. It opens with Johnny (who was named J. R. by his family) and his older brother Jack, they are best friends. They are poor but love being together. The father clearly prefers Jack, he is going to be a preacher. Johnny is very much into music, like his momma. Back then folks talked of music as it being a waste of time or even from the devil (rock and roll).
Sadly, Jack is killed in a freak accident and the father verbally says, "God took the wrong son." Can you imagine your father telling you this? The family home becomes a sad place to be. Watching this angers Ben, he wants to go into the TV and hurt that father, he says. Johnny feels his father disapproval from early childhood forward to adulthood. Eventually he joins the military, marries, has children and then finally is discovered as a singer.
Internally, he is a mess. Marriage is a mess. His friends on tour are Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Waylon Jennings (all the biggies) and June Carter. These men introduce to him drugs, alcohol, woman etc... This of course numbs all the pain from his past.
His life is spiraling out of control. As Ben watches this part, he comments what a loser this man is becoming, doing all this bad stuff. He can't see that he's in pain and he's making bad choices so he doesn't have to deal with it. Eventually his wife leaves him and his life is so bad the tour comes to a halt. The drugs take over his life.
But he is still trying to earn his father's approval. We does this, even as adults. And his dad just won't give it, not even the tiniest bit. In the end, it's June Carter and her parents who help Johnny detox. They stay with him day and night. Even running his drug dealer off the property with a gun.
What I am amazed at, was the first words out of Johnny's mouth when he was finally sober. Completely drug-free. His first words were his father's words, God took the wrong son. Ben and I talk about this. Words have so much power. We can't take them back. We can say we're sorry but once they are out there, they stay with us.
Are you using words that encourage or harm others? I tell Ben that Johnny Cash wasn't being a loser taking all those drugs and drinking, it just numbed the pain. It kept him from hurting. We do that sometimes, we don't want to feel so we turn to our "thing," whatever it is to stop the pain.
June Carter was his angel. That's what he told her. He said, "I've done so many bad things." Haven't we all? No one deserve grace or second or third or fourth chances. But that's where Jesus steps in. He became the Father Johnny should have had. No child should have been spoken to by their father like that.
I tell Ben, see there are things worse than not having a father, you could have had Johnny's father. Someone always has it worse. It's extremely important to me that my children don't see themselves as victims. Otherwise it means God wasn't paying attention. He'd say something like, "Oh, look I turned my head for a second and Jeff Wenzel died. What am I going to do? Those kids are going to be a mess without their dad."
I know that's not how God works. This was not an accident. He did not fall asleep on the job. This is part of my children's story now. I pray for them. I pray it will make them stronger. There are strong Christian men who walk along side them, that Jeff and I asked before he passed. Men who have committed their lives to my children.
This movie reminds me to not judge others. No one knows what another has been through. I realize once we are adults we need to take responsibility for our lives. But everyone needs Jesus. And I'm a sucker for redemption stories. Johnny Cash never forgot that as he did concerts at the Folsom Prison. This was unheard of. People did not think much of prisoners, they didn't deserve it. But Johnny didn't agree. And as you know, I've had my own recent incident with the prison. Maybe I'll start a prison ministry!
Each of my children are very different. My oldest prefers comedies when it comes to movies and my middle, well I can talk him into deeper, dramatic themed movies. I have been wanting to watch "Walk the Line" with him, the story of Johnny Cash's life. He was home sick one day last week and we did just that.
If you have seen it, the movie is very hard to watch at times. It opens with Johnny (who was named J. R. by his family) and his older brother Jack, they are best friends. They are poor but love being together. The father clearly prefers Jack, he is going to be a preacher. Johnny is very much into music, like his momma. Back then folks talked of music as it being a waste of time or even from the devil (rock and roll).
Sadly, Jack is killed in a freak accident and the father verbally says, "God took the wrong son." Can you imagine your father telling you this? The family home becomes a sad place to be. Watching this angers Ben, he wants to go into the TV and hurt that father, he says. Johnny feels his father disapproval from early childhood forward to adulthood. Eventually he joins the military, marries, has children and then finally is discovered as a singer.
Internally, he is a mess. Marriage is a mess. His friends on tour are Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Waylon Jennings (all the biggies) and June Carter. These men introduce to him drugs, alcohol, woman etc... This of course numbs all the pain from his past.
His life is spiraling out of control. As Ben watches this part, he comments what a loser this man is becoming, doing all this bad stuff. He can't see that he's in pain and he's making bad choices so he doesn't have to deal with it. Eventually his wife leaves him and his life is so bad the tour comes to a halt. The drugs take over his life.
But he is still trying to earn his father's approval. We does this, even as adults. And his dad just won't give it, not even the tiniest bit. In the end, it's June Carter and her parents who help Johnny detox. They stay with him day and night. Even running his drug dealer off the property with a gun.
What I am amazed at, was the first words out of Johnny's mouth when he was finally sober. Completely drug-free. His first words were his father's words, God took the wrong son. Ben and I talk about this. Words have so much power. We can't take them back. We can say we're sorry but once they are out there, they stay with us.
Are you using words that encourage or harm others? I tell Ben that Johnny Cash wasn't being a loser taking all those drugs and drinking, it just numbed the pain. It kept him from hurting. We do that sometimes, we don't want to feel so we turn to our "thing," whatever it is to stop the pain.
June Carter was his angel. That's what he told her. He said, "I've done so many bad things." Haven't we all? No one deserve grace or second or third or fourth chances. But that's where Jesus steps in. He became the Father Johnny should have had. No child should have been spoken to by their father like that.
I tell Ben, see there are things worse than not having a father, you could have had Johnny's father. Someone always has it worse. It's extremely important to me that my children don't see themselves as victims. Otherwise it means God wasn't paying attention. He'd say something like, "Oh, look I turned my head for a second and Jeff Wenzel died. What am I going to do? Those kids are going to be a mess without their dad."
I know that's not how God works. This was not an accident. He did not fall asleep on the job. This is part of my children's story now. I pray for them. I pray it will make them stronger. There are strong Christian men who walk along side them, that Jeff and I asked before he passed. Men who have committed their lives to my children.
This movie reminds me to not judge others. No one knows what another has been through. I realize once we are adults we need to take responsibility for our lives. But everyone needs Jesus. And I'm a sucker for redemption stories. Johnny Cash never forgot that as he did concerts at the Folsom Prison. This was unheard of. People did not think much of prisoners, they didn't deserve it. But Johnny didn't agree. And as you know, I've had my own recent incident with the prison. Maybe I'll start a prison ministry!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Why Are All The Good Ones in Jail?
I wish I could tell you this story is about a "friend." You might even be wondering how it's possible I'm a parent to three children. But I am. Remember I was just coming off a week long migraine and an ER visit, lots of drugs. And yet I'm still not sure this helps but oh well. Here we go. I know you need a Monday laugh.
It was Saturday morning and our home phone started ringing. Caller ID showed "Global Tel Link" and my kids know not to answer it. We all assume it's a sales call. But they keep calling over and over and over. Very irritating. We leave for a bit to run errands. Few hours later back at the house the calls start up again, no message is ever left. I've had enough, I decide to answer and tell them to stop calling.
For the record this was the 10th call from this number. I answer to a recording from the Sedgwick County Jail informing me it's a collect call from an inmate. If I want to except the charges press 9. Two of my kids are in the kitchen with me as I push 9. I still have no idea why. Next thing I'm talking to "John Smith" (not his real name). And yes, I agreed to pay $4.50 for this phone call to a complete stranger. Below will show our conversation:
Me: "You have the wrong number, who are you trying to reach?"
JS: "My family but their phone numbers won't accept collect calls"
Me: "How did you get my number?" he never answers this question
Me: "What do you want me to do?"
JS: "Can you please call my family members? I need them to put money on my account because I'm starving to death down here. I'm 6'2'' and weigh 155lbs., I go to bed hungry every night. And will you tell them I'm being charged with Aggravated Robbery but I'm innocent (I'm totally freaking out at this point). My friend I was with did it but I didn't."
He proceeds to give me numbers to his mom, dad and brother. Tells me he's going to call me back the next day. Promises he'll pay me back when he gets out. Ask me my name. But even then I couldn't lie and I tell him it's Reneene. What is wrong with me? Ben is about to have a coronary in my kitchen. We hang up.
I call all the numbers. Only his brother answers. He informs me that his brother is getting fed 4 meals a day, he wants money for pop and candy. He says his brother is not innocent and furthermore a drug addict who is exactly where he needs to be. Wonderful. I, who recently have become addicted to watching "Criminal Minds" and actually have some pain medication in my home for migraines, is picturing this man getting out of prison and well, you fill in the blank.
Shortly after, Jeff's cousin Dave walks in to hang out with my boys. I tell him everything. He just got a job with the prison. "Why didn't you call me?" he asks. Well, I'm still trying to figure out why I pressed the number 9. He starts trying to find the number to the jail to get my phone number taken off this inmates call list. Oh yes, let's do that. Good idea!
We also pulled up the Sedgwick County Jail website and do an inmate search. Oh my, he had about 8 arrest charges against him on 7/15. Aggravated robbery, drug possession, resisting arrest, obstruction, etc. My new best friend is a bad boy, great!
And then I remember we know someone who works for the Sheriff's Dept. and we call her. She calls "John Smith" at the jail and asks him how he got my number. First he tells her he dialed it randomly (10 times, really) and then he tells her he went to church with me (not true). She makes sure my number is taken off and tells him to stop calling me.
My dear friend Linda laughs and laughs as I tell her my story. And then she says, "And you aren't even an elderly person." I guess it could be worse, I could've felt really bad for him and put money on his account. He does have a hearing on Tuesday. Maybe I should go, for support. Since we went to church together and all. How do I get myself into these things?
I will say my children are rather spooked. Thank goodness I have a dog who normally I'd rather do without because she's like Marley from Marley and Me. Accepting applications for bodyguards. Especially if you resemble Shemar Moore! Call me.
It was Saturday morning and our home phone started ringing. Caller ID showed "Global Tel Link" and my kids know not to answer it. We all assume it's a sales call. But they keep calling over and over and over. Very irritating. We leave for a bit to run errands. Few hours later back at the house the calls start up again, no message is ever left. I've had enough, I decide to answer and tell them to stop calling.
For the record this was the 10th call from this number. I answer to a recording from the Sedgwick County Jail informing me it's a collect call from an inmate. If I want to except the charges press 9. Two of my kids are in the kitchen with me as I push 9. I still have no idea why. Next thing I'm talking to "John Smith" (not his real name). And yes, I agreed to pay $4.50 for this phone call to a complete stranger. Below will show our conversation:
Me: "You have the wrong number, who are you trying to reach?"
JS: "My family but their phone numbers won't accept collect calls"
Me: "How did you get my number?" he never answers this question
Me: "What do you want me to do?"
JS: "Can you please call my family members? I need them to put money on my account because I'm starving to death down here. I'm 6'2'' and weigh 155lbs., I go to bed hungry every night. And will you tell them I'm being charged with Aggravated Robbery but I'm innocent (I'm totally freaking out at this point). My friend I was with did it but I didn't."
He proceeds to give me numbers to his mom, dad and brother. Tells me he's going to call me back the next day. Promises he'll pay me back when he gets out. Ask me my name. But even then I couldn't lie and I tell him it's Reneene. What is wrong with me? Ben is about to have a coronary in my kitchen. We hang up.
I call all the numbers. Only his brother answers. He informs me that his brother is getting fed 4 meals a day, he wants money for pop and candy. He says his brother is not innocent and furthermore a drug addict who is exactly where he needs to be. Wonderful. I, who recently have become addicted to watching "Criminal Minds" and actually have some pain medication in my home for migraines, is picturing this man getting out of prison and well, you fill in the blank.
Shortly after, Jeff's cousin Dave walks in to hang out with my boys. I tell him everything. He just got a job with the prison. "Why didn't you call me?" he asks. Well, I'm still trying to figure out why I pressed the number 9. He starts trying to find the number to the jail to get my phone number taken off this inmates call list. Oh yes, let's do that. Good idea!
We also pulled up the Sedgwick County Jail website and do an inmate search. Oh my, he had about 8 arrest charges against him on 7/15. Aggravated robbery, drug possession, resisting arrest, obstruction, etc. My new best friend is a bad boy, great!
And then I remember we know someone who works for the Sheriff's Dept. and we call her. She calls "John Smith" at the jail and asks him how he got my number. First he tells her he dialed it randomly (10 times, really) and then he tells her he went to church with me (not true). She makes sure my number is taken off and tells him to stop calling me.
My dear friend Linda laughs and laughs as I tell her my story. And then she says, "And you aren't even an elderly person." I guess it could be worse, I could've felt really bad for him and put money on his account. He does have a hearing on Tuesday. Maybe I should go, for support. Since we went to church together and all. How do I get myself into these things?
I will say my children are rather spooked. Thank goodness I have a dog who normally I'd rather do without because she's like Marley from Marley and Me. Accepting applications for bodyguards. Especially if you resemble Shemar Moore! Call me.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Our Summer
M.I.A. Apparently, I have jumped ship this summer. Where are all those blog entries I talked about writing? Do they count if they're in my head? Bam, just like that summer is almost gone. A major highlight were the uninvited, ever-present, glaring, painful migraine headaches constantly banging on my door. I count 3 trips to the ER this summer, that is a record for me. It's a good thing I didn't blog while I had one of these monsters. Who knows what might have showed up on here!
Hope. For the first time in a long while, I am feeling hopeful again. It's a combination of things but really at the core it's Jesus. He orchestrates all of life whether we acknowledge it or not. I had been rather angry at Him but I wasn't ready to admit it. You have to tell Him the truth, He can take it. He can use anything, anyone He wants to get through to us. Because He loves us that much.
For me, it was a 4 year old boy's book called "Heaven is For Real." I read that book and in my heart I saw Jesus in heaven, so clearly. But I also saw Jeff. And it gave me a peace that needed to move forward. And moving forward meant moving forward toward Jesus. I am ready to need Him again and trust Him.
The kids and I were able to take a vacation to Florida. We brought Jeff's nephew Jack with us, he's 20 years old and I'm sure I wouldn't have survived Disney World without him. We only went to DW for 3 days and I'm not sure I could've handled more. I must be getting too old for this break-neck pace, staying up until 3am, neck whipping back and forth, 75 mph adventure! Just remembering it makes me want to lie down.
My favorite part of the family vacation was the 3 days spent at Cocoa Beach. People will ask "what did you do there?" We did nothing, absolutely nothing. And it was the best part of the trip. We sat on the beach, swam in the ocean, made sand castles. It was perfect. You know, the Travelocity commercial. Except with a widow. Sorry, had to throw that in. I waited for George Clooney to walk by but he never showed up. His loss.
We have had many, many pool parties at our house this summer! Maybe you have been over for one of them. Chillin. Listening to BOB fm on the radio, doing a Cannon Ball in the pool, eating watermelon (my favorite summer fruit). Maybe you played some basketball or tennis on our court, fun times. Glad you came. We love summer and friends.
Baseball games, many were played. Good job, Ben and those Rockets! Softball games, lots of games. Good job, Olivia and those Hot Tamales! This mama has sat and sat and sat. She has cheered for her babies! Eaten a ton of seeds, laffy taffy, licorice ropes and drank way too many gatorades! But tan, she is soooo tan. She loves her baseball/softball families, they help her carry her load, which is often too heavy, they make her laugh, they are her heart.
And in a blink school will be upon us. Joseph will be an 8th grader, Ben a 6th grader and Olivia a 4th grader. Time is fleeting. You cannot get it back. And every day is a gift, do not waste it. Each day I realize how much their daddy is missing but I now KNOW he is truly in a better place. He is waiting for us to join him when it's our time.
Until then, we will have a lot of pool parties, make friends, tell them about Jesus, go to baseball/softball/football games, movies, church, go on vacations, play games, read great books, cry when we're sad, laugh when we're happy and make a lot of memories until we meet Jesus.
Hope. For the first time in a long while, I am feeling hopeful again. It's a combination of things but really at the core it's Jesus. He orchestrates all of life whether we acknowledge it or not. I had been rather angry at Him but I wasn't ready to admit it. You have to tell Him the truth, He can take it. He can use anything, anyone He wants to get through to us. Because He loves us that much.
For me, it was a 4 year old boy's book called "Heaven is For Real." I read that book and in my heart I saw Jesus in heaven, so clearly. But I also saw Jeff. And it gave me a peace that needed to move forward. And moving forward meant moving forward toward Jesus. I am ready to need Him again and trust Him.
The kids and I were able to take a vacation to Florida. We brought Jeff's nephew Jack with us, he's 20 years old and I'm sure I wouldn't have survived Disney World without him. We only went to DW for 3 days and I'm not sure I could've handled more. I must be getting too old for this break-neck pace, staying up until 3am, neck whipping back and forth, 75 mph adventure! Just remembering it makes me want to lie down.
My favorite part of the family vacation was the 3 days spent at Cocoa Beach. People will ask "what did you do there?" We did nothing, absolutely nothing. And it was the best part of the trip. We sat on the beach, swam in the ocean, made sand castles. It was perfect. You know, the Travelocity commercial. Except with a widow. Sorry, had to throw that in. I waited for George Clooney to walk by but he never showed up. His loss.
We have had many, many pool parties at our house this summer! Maybe you have been over for one of them. Chillin. Listening to BOB fm on the radio, doing a Cannon Ball in the pool, eating watermelon (my favorite summer fruit). Maybe you played some basketball or tennis on our court, fun times. Glad you came. We love summer and friends.
Baseball games, many were played. Good job, Ben and those Rockets! Softball games, lots of games. Good job, Olivia and those Hot Tamales! This mama has sat and sat and sat. She has cheered for her babies! Eaten a ton of seeds, laffy taffy, licorice ropes and drank way too many gatorades! But tan, she is soooo tan. She loves her baseball/softball families, they help her carry her load, which is often too heavy, they make her laugh, they are her heart.
And in a blink school will be upon us. Joseph will be an 8th grader, Ben a 6th grader and Olivia a 4th grader. Time is fleeting. You cannot get it back. And every day is a gift, do not waste it. Each day I realize how much their daddy is missing but I now KNOW he is truly in a better place. He is waiting for us to join him when it's our time.
Until then, we will have a lot of pool parties, make friends, tell them about Jesus, go to baseball/softball/football games, movies, church, go on vacations, play games, read great books, cry when we're sad, laugh when we're happy and make a lot of memories until we meet Jesus.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Top 10 Reasons Reneene's Negectled Her Blog
10. She was busy being a Team Captain for the Jeff Wenzel Memorial Walk at
the Easter Sun Run. The Wenzel Warriors had the biggest team with 125
members!
9. She's driving Ben and Olivia around to many baseball/softball practices
and games/tournaments. Taxi driver has become her new 2nd job.
8. The kids are out of school and home 24/7. Someone is always using the
computer, unless she wants to get on at 2am!
7. Migraines have been a real monster. Who really wants to hear about
pain, suffering and migraine headaches? You already have to hear about
grief and loss.
6. She's been in a bigger pit than she let on. Seriously downer, depressing
blah, blah, blah..... The kind of stuff you tell your counselor and they listen
because you're paying them. But the sun is coming out now!
5. She's can't think of anything exciting, witty, funny, inspiring to write. So
she's taking entries from you, her life is rather boring at the moment.
4. She's trying to plan her summer vacation to Florida. Roadtrip? Fly?
Disneyworld? Universal Studios? It may seem simple but she's had bad
luck when it comes to vacations. Ask her about the cruise sometime.
3. She's always chasing piles of laundry. She should have this down, she's
been doing this for 13 years now. But no, so many clothes, piles are
everywhere. She would love a laundress.
2. She's been too busy watching TV episodes of "Psych" and "Monk" with
her oldest son Joseph on Netflix. The Wenzel family just loves that Netflix!
1. She's been wading through knee high grass in the back yard, finding all
sorts of objects; baseballs, parts of the hose, pool toys, etc...
Wondering if the mower will survive it or not. Keep you posted!
Blogging needs to be cultivated and kept up, kind of like my yard. I have let them both go, so to speak. My yard is uninhabitable, not something I want people to see. My blog is the same. You will not read it, if there is nothing to read. My goal this summer is to keep you reading as I keep my son mowing. Hope you have a great summer!
the Easter Sun Run. The Wenzel Warriors had the biggest team with 125
members!
9. She's driving Ben and Olivia around to many baseball/softball practices
and games/tournaments. Taxi driver has become her new 2nd job.
8. The kids are out of school and home 24/7. Someone is always using the
computer, unless she wants to get on at 2am!
7. Migraines have been a real monster. Who really wants to hear about
pain, suffering and migraine headaches? You already have to hear about
grief and loss.
6. She's been in a bigger pit than she let on. Seriously downer, depressing
blah, blah, blah..... The kind of stuff you tell your counselor and they listen
because you're paying them. But the sun is coming out now!
5. She's can't think of anything exciting, witty, funny, inspiring to write. So
she's taking entries from you, her life is rather boring at the moment.
4. She's trying to plan her summer vacation to Florida. Roadtrip? Fly?
Disneyworld? Universal Studios? It may seem simple but she's had bad
luck when it comes to vacations. Ask her about the cruise sometime.
3. She's always chasing piles of laundry. She should have this down, she's
been doing this for 13 years now. But no, so many clothes, piles are
everywhere. She would love a laundress.
2. She's been too busy watching TV episodes of "Psych" and "Monk" with
her oldest son Joseph on Netflix. The Wenzel family just loves that Netflix!
1. She's been wading through knee high grass in the back yard, finding all
sorts of objects; baseballs, parts of the hose, pool toys, etc...
Wondering if the mower will survive it or not. Keep you posted!
Blogging needs to be cultivated and kept up, kind of like my yard. I have let them both go, so to speak. My yard is uninhabitable, not something I want people to see. My blog is the same. You will not read it, if there is nothing to read. My goal this summer is to keep you reading as I keep my son mowing. Hope you have a great summer!
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