Just so you know, I'm not always a whackadoodle. I have my moments of lucid thoughts and deep conversations. There does seem to be a pattern with my posts. One "airhead" situation and then a meaningful time with one of my kids or Jesus. Isn't that how life works? Much more exciting.
Each of my children are very different. My oldest prefers comedies when it comes to movies and my middle, well I can talk him into deeper, dramatic themed movies. I have been wanting to watch "Walk the Line" with him, the story of Johnny Cash's life. He was home sick one day last week and we did just that.
If you have seen it, the movie is very hard to watch at times. It opens with Johnny (who was named J. R. by his family) and his older brother Jack, they are best friends. They are poor but love being together. The father clearly prefers Jack, he is going to be a preacher. Johnny is very much into music, like his momma. Back then folks talked of music as it being a waste of time or even from the devil (rock and roll).
Sadly, Jack is killed in a freak accident and the father verbally says, "God took the wrong son." Can you imagine your father telling you this? The family home becomes a sad place to be. Watching this angers Ben, he wants to go into the TV and hurt that father, he says. Johnny feels his father disapproval from early childhood forward to adulthood. Eventually he joins the military, marries, has children and then finally is discovered as a singer.
Internally, he is a mess. Marriage is a mess. His friends on tour are Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Waylon Jennings (all the biggies) and June Carter. These men introduce to him drugs, alcohol, woman etc... This of course numbs all the pain from his past.
His life is spiraling out of control. As Ben watches this part, he comments what a loser this man is becoming, doing all this bad stuff. He can't see that he's in pain and he's making bad choices so he doesn't have to deal with it. Eventually his wife leaves him and his life is so bad the tour comes to a halt. The drugs take over his life.
But he is still trying to earn his father's approval. We does this, even as adults. And his dad just won't give it, not even the tiniest bit. In the end, it's June Carter and her parents who help Johnny detox. They stay with him day and night. Even running his drug dealer off the property with a gun.
What I am amazed at, was the first words out of Johnny's mouth when he was finally sober. Completely drug-free. His first words were his father's words, God took the wrong son. Ben and I talk about this. Words have so much power. We can't take them back. We can say we're sorry but once they are out there, they stay with us.
Are you using words that encourage or harm others? I tell Ben that Johnny Cash wasn't being a loser taking all those drugs and drinking, it just numbed the pain. It kept him from hurting. We do that sometimes, we don't want to feel so we turn to our "thing," whatever it is to stop the pain.
June Carter was his angel. That's what he told her. He said, "I've done so many bad things." Haven't we all? No one deserve grace or second or third or fourth chances. But that's where Jesus steps in. He became the Father Johnny should have had. No child should have been spoken to by their father like that.
I tell Ben, see there are things worse than not having a father, you could have had Johnny's father. Someone always has it worse. It's extremely important to me that my children don't see themselves as victims. Otherwise it means God wasn't paying attention. He'd say something like, "Oh, look I turned my head for a second and Jeff Wenzel died. What am I going to do? Those kids are going to be a mess without their dad."
I know that's not how God works. This was not an accident. He did not fall asleep on the job. This is part of my children's story now. I pray for them. I pray it will make them stronger. There are strong Christian men who walk along side them, that Jeff and I asked before he passed. Men who have committed their lives to my children.
This movie reminds me to not judge others. No one knows what another has been through. I realize once we are adults we need to take responsibility for our lives. But everyone needs Jesus. And I'm a sucker for redemption stories. Johnny Cash never forgot that as he did concerts at the Folsom Prison. This was unheard of. People did not think much of prisoners, they didn't deserve it. But Johnny didn't agree. And as you know, I've had my own recent incident with the prison. Maybe I'll start a prison ministry!
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