Who really likes change? Yesterday ended Ben's 4 years of junior football with the same boys since 3rd grade. This means I've been with these parents and coaches for 4 years as well. And if you know me, I'm a total extrovert, I'm all in with relationships. These are my peoples, my family. No more screaming in the stands, yelling at the refs. No more Noal telling us to behave! With that smile on his face. No more hearing Kim McSwain's voice across the field. No more Coach Mackey coming to practice and games in shorts when it's 20 degrees outside.
Sure we'll see each around but it won't be the same. Seasons of life are just that. The season has officially ended. And Ben and I sat in our van and cried.
I love football. I was at most practices being the center of some joke because, well I was usually sticking my foot in my mouth. What will I do every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday night. Withdrawals are coming. You see the parents of our teams we just really liked one another, never drama. We just had the best weeekend in Topeka. Oh, there was drama but it was on our cheerleading squad, those parents have some issues. We just really LIKE each other.
Ben found his passion on the football field. He almost didn't play, he was so small and I was afraid he would get hurt. My husband had just passed away in 2007 and I was sure Ben would forget we had promised he could play in 3rd grade. He didn't. I was reminded to keep promises and try to make decisions and think about if Jeff was here, what would he say? So I signed him up reluctantly and who knew I would love this game so much too? Who knew my my little kid would be a linebacker? Who knew he would make friends that he will probably keep for a lifetime? Me too.
I cannot tell you the impact his defensive coach has had on him. Coaches can do that for kids. There are moments when my son has fell apart after a game and he wants no part of me, I know what he wants but he is in heaven. But this "surrogate father/coach" will always go to him and he knows what to say. And it's exactly what he needs. I cannot be this for Ben. His impact will be remembered for years, I know Ben will not forgot you, Mike Carraway. I will not. You have treated my son as your own.
I am grateful for these coaches who have given their time year after year. They are just dads. I cry as I type this because my child doesn't have his here and I so wish he could have come to a game and seen him play. Don't miss out on your kids lives. Be there for them. Don't miss one single chance you get to hang with them. Life is fleeting and short and uncertain. Never take it for granted. But also be available for the ones who don't have a dad. Many of you parents have been that for my son. Thank you, I see it all.
Sorry if I've made you cry. Been feeling a bit sentimental today. Looking back at the past four years. Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving! This year I'm so thankful for all of you. Many blessings, Reneene
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Army Strong!
Every night we lay our weary heads on our pillows and pray God gives us another day. Morning comes with the familiar rising of the sun and we start all over again. Most of us plow through life, everyday looks like the one before. Our lives have become settled in. Nothing particular new and exciting on the horizon. Tomorrow my 20-year old nephew Jack (we like to call him Jackie) will rise up from his familiar bed or couch at my in-laws home and leave for the U. S. Army.
Jack is the oldest grandchild of 9 for my in-laws. And we are a tight-knit group us Wenzel clan. This will be a hard night tonight saying goodbye. My two boys look up to Jackie, he's the cool older cousin who hunts and likes to fish. He still likes to play video games with them. Change is hard.
I want to encourage him. I have never been in the military but I was a military brat. My dad was a lifer, 20 years USAF. Tomorrow you will wake-up and leave home and for the first time have to find all that you need within yourself. Tomorrow you are a man. No one will there to take care of you. Many will be praying for you. Praying for you to succeed. But you will have one person who will never leave you or forsake you and that's Jesus.
He doesn't cost any money, He doesn't weigh anything (a small bible is great to bring though) and you can talk to Him anytime you want. I imagine it will get lonely and hard at times. There are many rooting for you! This is going to be the first day of the rest of your life. I pray it's just the beginning of great plans God has for you.
If your Uncle Jeff was here, he'd tell you to live life to the fullest. Be adventurous. Take risks. Have fun. Don't forget Jesus. Make friends. Don't give up.
I wanted to tell about some famous people who served in the military. It's a noble and honorable quest you're taking on:
Bill Cosby -- Navy
Drew Carey -- USMC
Alan Alda -- Army
Johnny Carson -- Navy
Clint Eastwood -- Army
Rocky Marciano (Boxer) -- Army
Shaggy (Reggae, Pop Star) -- USMC
George Steinbrenner -- USAF
George Washington -- Union Navy (Civil War)
Chuck Norris -- USAF
Elvis Presley -- Army
Ice T -- Army
Sean Connery -- Royal Navy
Another piece of trivia...out of 44 U.S. Presidents only 16 did not serve in the military. And after Franklin D. Roosevelt (#32) who couldn't join because he contacted the measles, all presidents after him served except Clinton and Obama. Interesting.
You are joining the ranks with some pretty impressive people. Truly noone is really great without Him. Mostly I pray you will seek Jesus out because all the things you have found comfort in will be gone. And Jesus has greater plans for your life, for all of our lives, than we could even dream of. So I will leave you with this verse, one of my favorites.
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Isaiah 58:11
These words are for all of us, to take risks, lose the comforts, seek Jesus regularly, be adventurous, don't give up so easily, don't get stuck in the mundane, be grateful for each day we have. Every day is a gift from God!
See you tonight, Jackie! I love you, Aunt Reneene
Jack is the oldest grandchild of 9 for my in-laws. And we are a tight-knit group us Wenzel clan. This will be a hard night tonight saying goodbye. My two boys look up to Jackie, he's the cool older cousin who hunts and likes to fish. He still likes to play video games with them. Change is hard.
I want to encourage him. I have never been in the military but I was a military brat. My dad was a lifer, 20 years USAF. Tomorrow you will wake-up and leave home and for the first time have to find all that you need within yourself. Tomorrow you are a man. No one will there to take care of you. Many will be praying for you. Praying for you to succeed. But you will have one person who will never leave you or forsake you and that's Jesus.
He doesn't cost any money, He doesn't weigh anything (a small bible is great to bring though) and you can talk to Him anytime you want. I imagine it will get lonely and hard at times. There are many rooting for you! This is going to be the first day of the rest of your life. I pray it's just the beginning of great plans God has for you.
If your Uncle Jeff was here, he'd tell you to live life to the fullest. Be adventurous. Take risks. Have fun. Don't forget Jesus. Make friends. Don't give up.
I wanted to tell about some famous people who served in the military. It's a noble and honorable quest you're taking on:
Bill Cosby -- Navy
Drew Carey -- USMC
Alan Alda -- Army
Johnny Carson -- Navy
Clint Eastwood -- Army
Rocky Marciano (Boxer) -- Army
Shaggy (Reggae, Pop Star) -- USMC
George Steinbrenner -- USAF
George Washington -- Union Navy (Civil War)
Chuck Norris -- USAF
Elvis Presley -- Army
Ice T -- Army
Sean Connery -- Royal Navy
Another piece of trivia...out of 44 U.S. Presidents only 16 did not serve in the military. And after Franklin D. Roosevelt (#32) who couldn't join because he contacted the measles, all presidents after him served except Clinton and Obama. Interesting.
You are joining the ranks with some pretty impressive people. Truly noone is really great without Him. Mostly I pray you will seek Jesus out because all the things you have found comfort in will be gone. And Jesus has greater plans for your life, for all of our lives, than we could even dream of. So I will leave you with this verse, one of my favorites.
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Isaiah 58:11
These words are for all of us, to take risks, lose the comforts, seek Jesus regularly, be adventurous, don't give up so easily, don't get stuck in the mundane, be grateful for each day we have. Every day is a gift from God!
See you tonight, Jackie! I love you, Aunt Reneene
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Secret Goals and Dreams
If I could write while I was driving or taking a shower, I would probably have a book published by now. Did you know that's my secret goal? The biggest obstacle, truthfully there a number of them, is ME. I'm a big chicken. I can pretty much talk myself out of anything. This may be hard to believe because I talk so stinking much but I am a closet under-achiever.
What would this book be about? Even if no one bought it, I have a desire to write about Jeff's (our) cancer journey, who he was, our life together, how God healed me. It would be for our children. When they grow up and want to know what happened. The whole story. When they want to know about Jeff and our amazing love story. I would love to have it written down for them. Truth is as time goes by, I am forgetting things. Age does this to you. If people also bought it, then that would be a bonus and I could provide for my family.
Writing a book sounds too big to me. I cannot even count how many people have told me I should write a book. Really I just don't know where to begin and so I begin nowhere. Which may seem like a cop-out to you. Essentially, I am putting this out here because I WANT to start this project. It's time. I believe it's something God would have me do, I am in my own way.
I was watching Dr. Phil and he was talking about goals and setting them (another weakness of mine) and he said something very defining for me. He said, "Someday, is not a day of the week." When we say we will get to that someday it's not specific enough. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and months turn into years.
I am coming up on 5 years since Jeff went to Jesus and know it's time to move and make specific goals in regards to writing if I'm ever going to write this book.
Why is it so easy for us to inspire and encourage our children to dream big? We tell them they can grow up to be anything they want, do anything, be president, play in the NFL, the possibilities are endless. But at some point as adults we stop doing this for ourselves. I think this is unfortunate. God certainly doesn't stop believing in us when we reach a particular age. He created us. Just read Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God--you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration--what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
What are some goals and dreams you have had, maybe you've not even said them out loud because then they are real? I know I probably need someone whose an expert in writing to help me fulfill mine. We shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. I am really believing 2012 is going to be the year of Joy and life and light and Hope.
What would this book be about? Even if no one bought it, I have a desire to write about Jeff's (our) cancer journey, who he was, our life together, how God healed me. It would be for our children. When they grow up and want to know what happened. The whole story. When they want to know about Jeff and our amazing love story. I would love to have it written down for them. Truth is as time goes by, I am forgetting things. Age does this to you. If people also bought it, then that would be a bonus and I could provide for my family.
Writing a book sounds too big to me. I cannot even count how many people have told me I should write a book. Really I just don't know where to begin and so I begin nowhere. Which may seem like a cop-out to you. Essentially, I am putting this out here because I WANT to start this project. It's time. I believe it's something God would have me do, I am in my own way.
I was watching Dr. Phil and he was talking about goals and setting them (another weakness of mine) and he said something very defining for me. He said, "Someday, is not a day of the week." When we say we will get to that someday it's not specific enough. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and months turn into years.
I am coming up on 5 years since Jeff went to Jesus and know it's time to move and make specific goals in regards to writing if I'm ever going to write this book.
Why is it so easy for us to inspire and encourage our children to dream big? We tell them they can grow up to be anything they want, do anything, be president, play in the NFL, the possibilities are endless. But at some point as adults we stop doing this for ourselves. I think this is unfortunate. God certainly doesn't stop believing in us when we reach a particular age. He created us. Just read Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God--you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration--what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
What are some goals and dreams you have had, maybe you've not even said them out loud because then they are real? I know I probably need someone whose an expert in writing to help me fulfill mine. We shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. I am really believing 2012 is going to be the year of Joy and life and light and Hope.
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