Worst Date Ever!

Sitting in the van with my kids this morning waiting for 3 different buses, the radio DJ gives the answer to...."What has 12% of women done on a first date?"  Walk out.  This led to me sharing my worst date ever story.  Of course, the most interested was Olivia but thinking back it was rather eventful.  I thought, why not share it with you.  Maybe you can share yours with me or even your kids.  For a good laugh.

Back in college (I went later in life), I was probably 28 and living on campus at Grand Canyon University and working at Caliber Bank (then Norwest Bank, then Wells Fargo, who knows what now).  Life was college and working 20 hours a week.  But I loved my life.  Then something new started.  I had acquired a secret admirer.  He left typed notes on my campus apartment.  Roses, Jelly Beans (as the note stated he knew Chocolate gave me migraines) and riddles of sorts.  I had no clue who this could be.

But those of you who know me, know I'm a talker.  So I talked to my friends wherever I was trying to figure out my mystery man.  School, work, etc... And then one day my phone rang and it was "George" (not his real name and not Clooney, bummer).  He was one of my co-workers who sat in the cubicle right next to mine.  He was very quiet, shy, looked like a English professor with beard and glasses even though he was young.  He said he was calling to tell me that he was in fact, my secret admirer.

Never would have guessed it.  And the next questions, of course, would I go out on a date with him?  How could I say no?  Even though I was pretty sure there was nothing there going on from my end, no attraction/chemistry.  But I agreed. We planned the time, details and he would pick me up.

Things I don't recommend for first dates:

Don't take them to Taco Bell for dinner.

Especially if you decide to stop at one of those strip mall carnivals. Because if you go on a ride that spins in circles and the ride operator leaves you on for extra time because no one else is there....you will throw up.

Not a great idea to "stop by a friend's house" and when you get there it's actually a "Singles Group Event" from the guy's church.  And somehow you feel like they know more about you even though you just met all these strangers.

NEVER, EVER agree to play Sardines with people you don't know.  What is Sardines?  Brace yourself.  You're in a house, all lights are turned off, one person who is "it" hides and you have to feel, crawl, touch your way around in the dark until you find that person.  Then you all stay together like a bunch of Sardines. 

My experience besides the awkwardness of the above description of the game and knowing no one, well, oh this gets so much worse.   So, I'm crawling around in a carpeted living/family room.  And all of a sudden, one of my knees (I was wearing jeans) becomes soaking wet.  I have just landed in wetness.  I touch the floor and sniff my hand (I have already thrown-up once) and I smell dog urine.

I start whispering loudly, "George, George."  "Yeah."  Trying to not overreact I say, "I'm in dog urine over here."  So we feel our way outside, I at this point want to cry.  Thankfully, he asks me what I want to do.  I kindly say that I want to go home.   Awkward drive home would be putting it lightly.  I really think it wasn't so bad for him.  He wanted to go out again.  I was strong enough to say no, thank you.

I still have the secret admirer notes somewhere.  Olivia is desperate for me to find them.  Who knew our old stories would someday be fun times to share with our kids.  Not funny at the time.  So, what was your "Worst Date Ever?"  If no one shares, I will be forced to tell you when I was auctioned off for a date, again at the same college (to bring in money for the school).  That might have topped this one.  That will be tomorrow's van story while waiting for the bus.

Remember the point of dating.  Trying to see if the person is the one God has for you.  It's worth every bad date if you end up with the best guy ever in the end.