Where do I begin? I've been teary eyed the past few days. You might remember a few weeks backs Joseph and Olivia went to the annual Hospice Care of Kansas camp for kids who have lost a loved one. It was there Olivia met a new friend named E (I will not use their real names). She and her sister M were there at the camp because they had just lost their dad in March.
On Tuesday morning E called Olivia and asked if she could come over and play. There is a language barrier as the mother only speaks Spanish. And I have never met the family because my in-laws picked my kids up from the camp (Ben and I were at a baseball tournament). E's brother gave me directions, headed there, got lost, shockingly (I know you're shocked, another story for another time) and finally found the pink home they live in. When I got there, no mother but found a house of children. Found out that E is one of 6 children. This poor women lost her husband and is now left with 6 children. My stomach dropped.
I meet 5 of the 6 kids. The mother is at the bank with one of the girls. I am not leaving my child there until I meet the mom. Then Olivia hollers for me to come down to the basement. I hobble down because I have a boot on my foot. As I walk through the kitchen I am keenly aware of poverty and I am overtaken with sadness. Going down the stairs I realize the smell has got to be some sort of mold or something that no one should be smelling. And then I see two twin beds down there and E and M say this is our room. I look down on one of the beds and there is a little baby boy maybe 1 or so sleeping in the of the beds. Oh my goodness.
Back up stairs I have fallen in love with the little 4 year old boy J. He has attached himself to me. You can tell he is starving for attention. His shirt is covered with all sorts of stuff, maybe food, dirt. Who knows but he has the best smile. He looks at all the pictures in my phone, wants to know who everyone is. And then wants me to take a picture a him. After the 15 year old boy let me in and introduced himself, I have never seen him again. There was sadness in his eyes. I can only imagine what he must be feeling having just lost his dad 3 months back.
The mom and sister L come home. L is only 13 years old but she must translate what I say. She's more mature than any 13 year old I've ever met. Maybe because of losing her dad or as I've come to find out, she is the one taking care of all these kids. Grief is messy and different for everyone. The mom has kind eyes. She tells me her husband died of Alzheimer's Disease, he was older. She tells me the kids are ages 1-15 and yes there are 6 of them. Again, my plate is not as full. I have much to be grateful for.
I leave and come back in a few hours. And then it all changes. Olivia wants the two girls to come back for a sleepover, Please? they ask. Ok, I say. The mom says yes. But that sweet little boy J wants to get in my van too. Even the little baby. On the porch I turn and there sits the oldest boy sitting in a chair, staring off into the distance. This whole family seems so sad to me. I want to take them all home, I want to fix it all. But I can't. So we take two of them home with us.
And they have been here ever since Tuesday. They don't want to go home. They call me mom. They have spent the 2 days talking about their dad constantly, telling me all about him. Drawing pictures, recording songs and dedicating them to him. We passed the cemetery his ashes are at and they got so excited. I just don't think they talk about this at home so openly. I have to take them back today because they aren't my children but my heart is aching already. You know I got all that food from extreme couponing the other day and I didn't know why. Well, it was to bring it to this family and they were so grateful.
There are things these two girls have shared with me that have hurt my heart for them. I truly believe the love of their life, the one who showed them love just died in March. This breaks my heart. Olivia wants to go buy them toys and everything she can imagine. I want to gather up every strong man and fix their house. I want to get mentors for these children. But I can't. Please pray for these children.
They love Joseph, they met him at the camp also. He's so great with kids. I don't mean to dump all this on you but I have been reduced to tears these past few days. It is not my place to judge only God. The hardest part in all this and for the girls, is the mom already has a boyfriend. She is with him a lot, this is why the 13 year old takes care of the kids. You all know me, this is unfathomable to me. But everyone grieves differently. This is a specific part of my prayer request, for the mom to be more present.
It's been a heavy week, no air, hobbling on a bum foot, these two precious angels that I have to take home. And don't forget that God showed up yesterday. Life is packed with so much we cannot live without Him. How could we do it without Jesus?
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