An Old Lady On A Bus

I was fortunate and had a good marriage before becoming a widow about 3 1/2 years ago. Of course, this was not my plan. I'm still pretty sore about it but as you know; my opinion wasn't requested in the matter. So here I sit, a middle-aged, graying, wobbly-bits gal with three kids wondering why the knight-in-shining armour on a white horse had to leave so soon. And you can be certain another one like him won't be coming around too soon. Things have changed a bit since I first met Jeff Wenzel in 1995. He was such a "stud" (they don't use that word anymore, I'm sure) and I wasn't too bad looking either. I'm beginning to see I don't have "it" anymore when I look around the general vicinity of me. I know I wear the dreaded "mom" jeans. I thought "let's get a little more with it." I headed to Maurice's for some of these Blingy jeans and the sweetest girl tried her hardest to help me. It was almost as bad as trying on bathing suits. I left in my good, comfortable jeans with no purchase convinced there must be something wrong with my body. Oh well.

I just don't want to start all over with this body at this age with love. It just doesn't seem to fit right. Like those jeans. But God sometimes has plans for us that we don't understand. I am trying to be open to His ways. But I feel like an old lady on a bus. Let me explain. I love to watch "The Office." I know it's disturbingly funny. Anyway. Michael Scott (the main character) demands his employees provide a name of a prospective woman for him to date within the hour or they will be fired. I told you it was disturbing. He of course thinks he should be with a supermodel (what guy doesn't) so he is irritated to meet a woman at a coffee shop who is rather plain. After spending time with her, he thanks her and says, "This has been nice, talking with you is like talking to an old lady on a bus." Of course he meant this as a compliment, she said he was rude.

For some reason I feel like that now. Not that I used to be a supermodel. But I was to Jeff. You know the bible talks about marrying the wife of your youth and then you grow old together. Oh, I wanted that whole dream. The country song and everything, rocking chairs, gray hairs, she can hardly sweep the floor. That's what I signed up for. NOT.....body parts heading south, graying, bulging, going blind and wondering if someone is just going to think I'm an old lady on a bus. God must have a sense of humor! If Michael Scott is still available, I think I look a little better than the gal at the coffee shop.